Ah... A great selection of alcohol. Heaven on earth!
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Erm... Some of these bottles look weird, though.
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Despite my thirst for alcohol, I won't risk drinking bleach by accident...
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That's a... thing, for sure. But what is it, exactly?
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It's... cold to the touch on one side, but hot on the other side...
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It looks like dough, but at the same time, it's hard as a rock...
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This is salty, but sweet at the same time?
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It smells like... perfume mixed with dishwater...
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The bartender is looking straight at me, in a funny way... I'd better stop.
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I give up. I have no idea what that is.
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Can't take the risk putting that in my pockets!
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I'm too afraid to try... It might bite me!
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Finally! A restaurant with real knives, well sharpened!
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If I put that in my pocket, I fear I might cut my genitals on accident.
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Especially if I see Sandra.
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I don't need to make them do battle. The knife is clearly stronger!
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I put that there for guests to write a few nice words about the hotel.
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Yes, unfortunately. Would you like to write a message?
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I don't know... The box is empty right now.
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I wouldn't know what to say or how to do it! At least, not until someone else does.
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You see the logo on that box? That's a vicious cycle.
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I drew that after noticing everyone reacted the same way.
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Please write something! Break the vicious cycle!
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I... can't! Sorry! I'm just a mindless lemming, like all the others!
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Don't touch that bottle, please.
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Why? Did you pee in it, too?
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How gross! No, it's just too precious to waste!
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Don't touch until you pay for it!
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I can't taste some?
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(Err... What am I doing, currently?)
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Better ask the bartender first, or I might lose a hand.
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I... don't think so...
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That guy scares me... Who knows what he'd do with that knife if I took the bottle!
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I don't need a bottle, do I?...
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(Gulp) No! I don't! (Runs away)
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I'm too afraid to try...
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...Sorry? Can I... talk to you?...
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Looks like he doesn't want to talk to me...
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And... maybe that's for the best!
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Some pastry rolls, with sausage chunks inside.
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Looks tasty! I'll take some!
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I'll keep 'em as a snack, in case I'm hungry.
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I don't need more. For now!
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I'm getting bored with this music.
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But how do I change it? I don't see any buttons...
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Kick the jukebox? Are you serious?
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Yes. It's an old model and it's the only way I've found to make the disc pop.
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Gimme another song, you stupid machine!
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You don't have to insult it!
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But it helps me kick it!
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Hey! Don't break my jukebox!
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I didn't say you should just keep kicking it!
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Tssk. Foreigners. They think all their problems are solved with violence.
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Good afternoon, sir.
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Are you pleased with your rooms?
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(It'd be better if I could have been in the same room as Sandra...)
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You haven't paid for your rooms, yet.
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Alright. How much will it be?
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So, two rooms... For a week...
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Err... I'm kinda short on Nogoyans, currently... Do you take euros?
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Sorry, I wouldn't have any use for euros.
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(No wonder there aren't more clients here)
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Can we pay on the last day? By then I should have had time to exchange some money.
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Fine. But I'm keeping an eye on you. If you leave without paying...
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Don't worry! We'll pay.
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(I'd rather not think about what they'd do to us if we don't pay...)
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What can I do for you?
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Please don't bother me so much. I have other guests to take care of.
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Hey, you're a bartender!
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You have a fruit juicer, right?
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I buy my cocktails prepared, to save time. I don't make fruit juice.
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Can I borrow a glass?
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I didn't say anything, but you already "borrowed" one earlier.
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Erm, well... Do you have a different glass? That one was too big.
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Too big? I have no idea what you're doing, but all our glasses are identical.
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By the way, don't forget to bring back that glass you "borrowed"!
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Can you tell me anything about Nogo?
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Don't tell me you came here without doing any research first?
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Typical. You foreigners assume all exotic countries are tourist traps.
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Nogo is a bit more complex.
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By the way, what's the name of this city?
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You know it already. Nogo.
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So this is the capital of the country with the same name?
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Nogo is a very small country. Nogo the city covers all of Nogo the country.
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I see! It's a bit like Monaco or Andorra! Not real countries.
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A bit of advice. If you want to stay alive around here, you'll avoid saying things like that.
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How come I've never heard about Nogo?
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We're not really big on tourism.
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Which is also easy to explain, there's nothing much of interest here.
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Oh, that can't be right! You've got a museum!
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And that's pretty much it.
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Now I understand why our plane had to land in the desert, and why the airport was a hut.
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What kind of government do you have?
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What's a government?
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You don't know that word? I mean, who is leading this country?
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Leading? No one is leading here.
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What? No democracy, no monarchy, no dictator?
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You're using words I don't know.
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More like an anarchy, then...
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I'm beginning to understand why I've never heard of this place before...
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No one would want to promote it.
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I don't have to ask anymore... I know where I ended up.
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In a god-forsaken hole.
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Thanks again for accepting such a late booking!
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No problem. I had plenty of open rooms.
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Yeah, I've noticed. There don't seem to be a lot of people.
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Is it always like that?
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And yet, there aren't that many rooms?
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(Great... This doesn't seem to be a very touristy place, after all...)
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Maybe you should check what your competitors are doing, to attract more people!
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This hotel is number 1.
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And by that, I mean it's the only one in Nogo.
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Really? No other hotels?
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What would be the point of building another? This one's never full.
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(Crap... I've ended up in no man's land.)
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How many of you are there?
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Your staff! How many people, manage this hotel?
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Why! There's only me!
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Haha! Don't tell me hotels are managed by several people, in your country?
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So let me summarize... Only one hotel in Nogo, with only 10 rooms, and only one manager?
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What's wrong with that?
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(Can it get worse than this?! Man, I miss civilization already...)
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I'm not interested in asking questions about the hotel anymore.
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I just want to leave this awful place.
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Keep your thoughts to yourself, please.
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I'd like something to drink!
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A glass? But you didn't ask me what I want!
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Hey, that's really good! What is it?
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Does a magician reveal his secrets?
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You're right... But... Can I at least know if there's alcohol in this?
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But you owe me 100 Nogoyans.
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Erm, can you put that on my tab?
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Can I get another glass of that special mixture you gave me?
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Not until you pay your tab, first.
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Oh come on! It's delicious!
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And that's the reason why I won't. You owe me tons of money, already!
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Get another drink? No.
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But I didn't finish my sentence.
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What's the point? You were going to say that, anyway.
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Not even if I run an errand for you?
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Do you have a map of Nogo?
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With locations indicated?
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No, a map with nothing on it...
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Of course, with the locations!
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I should have one like that somewhere...
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...There you go. You're lucky, that's the last one.
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Great! Can I have it?
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Of course! And then I'll put it in a beautiful bag?
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Don't tell me I've got to pay for it?
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You foreigners! Expecting everything to be free, tssk.
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That'll be 500 Nogoyans.
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I told you. I don't have Nogoyans.
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Then I can't give it to you.
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I have an idea. Do you take credit cards?
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What a coincidence!
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Someone else asked me that yesterday, and the answer is still no.
NOTE:
But I may have a solution.
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A very annoying client asked for a snack.
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Usually people come here directly to order something, but they called me on the phone!
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And they asked me to deliver it to their room! Can you believe it?
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Yeah! Where do they think they are? In a hotel?...
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Anyway. If you bring this to room 204, I'll give you the map.
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What? You still haven't delivered the snack?
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Oops. Guess I'm off, then!
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There you go! I delivered the snack.
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Can I have the map, now?
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Alright. Here, take this.
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Mmm... That's good, but it's still not very clear to me...
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Can you mark some interesting locations around here?
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That's easy... There aren't many.
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The national museum is right here.
NOTE:
Then you've got a not-too-awful sight here, the old excavations.
NOTE:
Finally, you should check out the Big Nogo Bazaar, there.
NOTE:
How big is it? I hope I don't get lost in it...
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Haha! No chance. "Big" is the name of the merchant.
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Cool, thank you! That should be enough to start.
NOTE:
To start... How long are you staying here, anyway?
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Anything else of interest in Nogo?
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I don't know. I don't spend a lot of time outside the hotel, you know.
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That doesn't surprise me...
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Eh! I'm the one deciding when to leave.
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Next time, don't bother me for nothing.
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By any chance... I'm looking for some glue. Do you have any?
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Are you implying my drinks taste like glue?
NOTE:
What? No! But that's an idea! If you had any drink that'd be sticky enough...
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I don't have glue, and none of my drinks are sticky. But I could stick something in your...
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It was worth a try...
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Hey, would you take a look at this pretty...
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I've got work to do, you know.
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Hey, look! That's me!
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Would you want mine?
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Of course not! I don't care!
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Here's for you or your clients!
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So typical. We're not starving in this country, you know.
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Do you have a DVD player somewhere? I'd like to watch a movie!
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A... dee vee dee? I might buy a translation dictionary, someday...
NOTE:
Do you expect to pay the room with that?
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Erm... Well, that's money, isn't it?
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I don't take western money. What would I do with it?
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I don't know... Spend it abroad?
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I have an hotel to manage, you know! I can't take vacations.
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Sorry, but you'll need to give me Nogoyans.
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You're kidding, right? That's not enough to pay for one cocktail!
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What? Really? But I spent all my money!
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Your problem. Don't forget, you need to pay me before the last day.
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And don't even think about running away. Some others did that, and it didn't end well.
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...I'll figure something out! Promise!
NOTE:
I bet you've never seen this in your whole life! It's a magical device to...
NOTE:
That's a flashlight.
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Maybe you need scissors?
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Kids' stuff. I only use well-sharpened knives.
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This is a really strong string!
NOTE:
No! I mean, I've never seen anyone so proud of a bit of string.
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Please don't start a fire.
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Man, you're no fun.
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I've taken this glass, I hope you don't mind?
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Just promise to bring it back.
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Look what I found in my room!
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Good! That could be useful. Give it to me.
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What's left in the hotel after the clients depart is mine by right.
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That was... a joke! It's mine!
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Can you burn these to ashes, please?
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This is a bar. Not a crematorium.
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Don't you have an oven?
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Can you extract some juice for me, please?
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Haha, very funny. It's almost impossible to press Malaki juice.
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Look! I make it myself!
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Not too bad for a three-year-old.
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I took some of these from a table. Is that OK?
NOTE:
Actually no, you stole them. But I already put it on your tab.
NOTE:
Ah, come on! No one was going to eat those leftovers!
NOTE:
Have you ever seen this card?
NOTE:
Not really. But that picture is really ugly.
NOTE:
Are you threatening me?
NOTE:
N...no! This is just... In case...
NOTE:
You don't want to see the graveyard behind the hotel.
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What do you think of this medallion?
NOTE:
That looks like an authentic...
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(Better not tell him how much it's worth. I'll try to grab it somehow.)
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Hey! How are you today?
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Same as usual. What did you expect?
NOTE:
No need to be aggressive in the morning...
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I'd be much happier if you paid for your rooms!
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Let me guess. Still no money, huh?
NOTE:
Money doesn't grow on trees, you know. You should get a job!
NOTE:
I can't do that! I came here on vacation!
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Ha! Vacation... Poor man.
NOTE:
Please don't bother me. Unless you're finally going to pay?
NOTE:
Hello! Any idea where I could find someone who can read old Nogoyan?
NOTE:
Hmmm... I've heard of a group of people called "The Bent Spoon". They...
NOTE:
I know that! Where can I find them?
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Mmm... No one's looking...
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It's empty, but I have a feeling it could be useful.
NOTE:
I don't have a map of Nogo. And I have no idea where to go.
NOTE:
Before getting lost, maybe I should ask for a map.
NOTE:
Hmmm... I could try going for a walk without a map?
NOTE:
I'll just try to stay nearby.
NOTE:
I should be able to trust my sense of direction.
NOTE:
Ah! Finally, some fresh air.
NOTE:
I just wonder why it's pitch black all of a sudden.
NOTE:
No problem. I'll go for a little walk around here!
NOTE:
So, erm... I think I came from... here?...
NOTE:
Yes, that must be it... I can see some light...
NOTE:
What the heck?! Where am I?!
NOTE:
This is horrible! I have to get out of here, quick!
NOTE:
Oh, no... It loops.
NOTE:
Looks like I ended up in one of those awful prototypes...
NOTE:
And I'm stuck here.
NOTE:
Can I have that cookie over there?
NOTE:
That?... But... It's been there for months... I don't get much time to clean, you know...
NOTE:
I don't care! Just give it to me!
NOTE:
I'll try not to cut myself while I grab this cookie...
NOTE:
I still don't know what that thing is, but there's definitely a cookie underneath it!
NOTE: