Beautiful! And I've never had lessons!
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I would never have guessed...
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Now, can you please find that statue?! You're wasting my time!
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Impressive! How were you able to play like that, suddenly?!
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I'm clever, that's all!
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(Actually, I pushed a button for a pre-recorded song.)
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Can you please get on with it, now?
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I'm getting better!
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I lit it once to make the room look pretty.
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It ended up being a disaster. The candlestick itself was the only thing I could salvage!
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I'm no butler; I don't walk around with a candlestick in my hand.
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If I need wax, there's a lot in my ears.
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I did light them once, and it was a disaster.
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That wouldn't brighten my life. Not much, anyway.
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It's sealed. That box cannot be opened.
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I believe it was made like that, from the beginning.
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If that box could be opened, someone would have bought it already.
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Although the mystery of what it contains makes it attractive too!
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Does this look like a piggy bank?
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Nope, I can't even put the string in it.
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Yeah, that's one solution! Tiny problem, though. I'd destroy everything inside.
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No point. I don't think the box is supposed to be opened.
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The mirror is half broken.
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I don't think clients expect to buy "mint condition" articles here anyway!
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Or maybe the mirror isn't broken, but my face is...
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No. It's broken. Definitely.
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To break it even more?
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The reflection of it is all weird!
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A shield is a type of personal armor, meant to intercept attacks, either by stopping projectiles like arrows...
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...or redirecting a hit from a sword, mace, battle axe, or similar weapon to the side of the shield-bearer.
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Thank you so much, Wikipedia!
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Sometimes a shield would be useful. Like for resisting the attacks of dissatisfied customers.
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I threw it at the shield, but it only bounced back.
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It looks a bit Egyptian. Probably a fake, though.
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I'm no expert. Just a seller.
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But it looks nice and all, so I'm selling it for at a high price.
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I don't buy my own stuff!
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Did the Egyptians use these? Hmmm, I wonder...
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Viewed from afar, it looks like it's made of crystal!
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However, when you get close, you realize it's plastic.
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I actually have several of these still in boxes. I ordered them from a Chinese website.
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I'd just damage the statue. If it wasn't a Chinese product, I could try!
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It's supposed to be some kind of flying creature?
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Considering the number of times it's fallen, I'd say it doesn't fly very well.
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I don't even know if it's an animal or a human.
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But, who cares! As long as someone buys it...
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No. It just doesn't fly as well as that statue.
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Some of the items in my store come from museums.
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Sometimes they get rid of cool stuff they decide's probably fake.
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Sometimes clients themselves bring in weird things from their attics.
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If they look good and seem ancient, I buy them for cheap, hoping for a good markup.
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Can't remember where that sarcophagus comes from though. Makes no difference, as long as I make a good sale.
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That's a weird idea! What if it unleashes a curse, huh?!
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Yup, that costs a lot of money now. And I bought it for just a hundred euros!
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If I sell it, I can run my business a full year from that one sale alone!
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That wouldn't be the first time I carved in a symbol to make it look more authentic.
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I'm just too tired to do it right now.
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My store isn't a crematorium.
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I'm too scared to try that...
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I seriously doubt anyone could carry this! It weighs a ton!
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Maybe they were giants.
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Yeah, I like the idea of giants carrying spears!
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With my luck, and my coordination, I'd lose an eye. Or worse!
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What the...? Is that... blood on it?
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Nah! Just bubble gum. Probably some kid.
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Well, at least it looks more authentic with all that fake blood!
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With my luck, I'd chop my head off!
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Not... quite the sound I expected.
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Let's try that again!
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Let's put this in the horn, and then...
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Well, that didn't work.
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These are symbols that peasants used to ask the gods for miracles.
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Like to cure diseases or remove viruses from their computers.
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They fell into the water centuries ago and got covered in mud. That's what saved them from decay.
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I found them in the museum trash. They probably had too many of them.
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Oh, I don't doubt many have prayed for more money!
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Maybe if I was in a cave. But I don't need a torch!
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They probably didn't pray for that.
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It's broken in some places. But I doubt anyone's going to buy this to hold water anyway.
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I used extra-strong glue to hold the parts together.
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It should hold until the sale!
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It'd probably fall in pieces. And I don't have any glue left!
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It's blank, so people can make their own flag!
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Sometimes I blow my nose on it. I don't have any tissues in the store.
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But, sssh! That's a secret!
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If I had a kingdom, money would definitely be the symbol on my flag!
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That's an idea. If it doesn't sell within a month, I'll cut holes in it.
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Not yet! I still hope to sell that someday.
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An antique umbrella!
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How do I know it's antique? Well, the shape of course!
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"Look, it can double as a parasol for the beach!"
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"And it's black, so it's perfect for a funeral!"
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I say that to everyone who looks at it, but no one's bought it. I don't get it.
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Antique umbrella is antique. No touching!
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An arrow and two spears, to be more precise.
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Why don't the killers in horror movies ever use these kinds of weapons? That'd be awesome!
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With each sale, I offer a sharpener. To make them sharper!
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I've never seen anyone spear that...
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One of them has a pink handle.
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I suppose it's for women. To smite the men who cheated on them.
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Some of them are authentic, and others were made in China.
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Actually, I can't tell the difference. So they're all the same price.
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I don't need a sword. Unless there's a zombie invasion.
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That's full of holes, so it's cheaper.
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Good thing the flute's behind glass! Otherwise, I'd do crazy things to it.
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A dagger and a machete.
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They can both be used for decoration or peeling potatoes.
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The dagger belonged to a kid, her mom asked me to confiscate it.
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No. I'm drunk too often to carry a knife.
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So... Let's see if...
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Oh no! It's empty! The thief must have...
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Wait. It's been empty for ages. The thief has nothing to do with this.
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Yeah, I don't use that anymore. Most people pay by credit card.
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And I don't declare any sales paid with cash, so it all works out!
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I'll keep the money on me. It's all I have left to survive!
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Yeah, of course! And I'll add some sausages too.
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Just kidding. I'd Better not put any of that in there...
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I like it! The sound of potential sales ahead!
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When it rings twice though, that's bad news.
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Children playing with it. I hate children. Boys and girls. Every one.
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Yeah, I could use that to ring the bell.
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I never put anything on the chair.
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Aside from my butt, obviously.
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Not the most comfortable. But I'm so busy with store that I don't get a second to rest anyway!
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...I realized that wasn't believable while I was saying it.
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I'd prefer to put down a whoopee cushion!
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Not on my own chair!
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Some plastic flowers.
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I think. I've never watered them anyway, so either they're plastic or insanely hardy.
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I thought I might give one to Sandra. But if I tried to pick up one, I'd end up with the whole thing.
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It's hard plastic! I can't cut it!
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I don't really like the smell of burning plastic...
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A flower pot is for flowers.
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What part don't you understand?
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Yup. That's a rare reproduction of a map, from back when people thought the earth was flat.
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Actually, my parents never believed modern science.
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We never travelled out of France for fear we'd fall off the edge of the earth.
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That may only be a copy, but it's still valuable! The price tag says 40 euros.
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I can't! There are no "Cut along the dotted line" guides.
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If I do that, it might fall off the earth!
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I'm a marketing genius!
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This promotion is valid every day!
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Yup. Money, money, money!
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To hang what? Myself?
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Heck, no! It's still valid for at least another two or three years!
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Considering the placement in the room...
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I'd probably burn the whole store down doing that.
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Vintage is great. Vintage is easy money!
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I've had trouble with bad checks in the past, so I put this up.
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I still take checks! Just not the rubber kind.
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Hooray for vintage! And for all marketing people busy convincing people that older is better!
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"Bartender! A beer, please!"
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Better not scratch my desk. It's the last thing clients see before buying!
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Nice plant. The only downside is kids playing hide & seek behind it.
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Did I mention I hate kids?
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Even after a thorough search, I can't see anything useful in the plant.
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Unless cigarette butts count as useful.
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I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
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There's dirt and old leaves.
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I don't need any leaves or branches currently.
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The only living plant here. If it dies, I might die too from lack of oxygen!
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No! When some clients tried that, I threw them out.
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Totally forgot I left it here yesterday.
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Hey, someone tried to call me!
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Oh, yeah... I forgot... Me. From the landline.
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I can't go upstairs.
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A client sold me a very big, very heavy piano.
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I tried to put it upstairs, but failed...
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It's totally stuck on the stairs, blocking the way.
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So I just decided to close the floor.
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Definitely the most logical thing to do. And the easiest!
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I can't move the piano.
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So I can't go upstairs!
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Well, that's weird...
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I'm not completely sure, considering how much rubbish I have here, but...
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Nothing seems to be missing from my store.
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So why was the door forced open?...
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Man, you're never in your store!
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Sorry, I was a little busy...
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Do you usually leave the door wide open when you leave?
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Anyone can walk right in!
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(He's right, I'll have to fix that lock someday...)
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Sorry about that. Are you here to buy one of the wonderful items, or...
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I have a few things to get rid of.
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Alright. What items?
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A few things. Look. Here's a 12 calibre pistol which I've only rarely used, and a...
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Hey, wait! How do you have these? Do you have a gun licence?
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Oh! Sorry, I think I left it home. Is that a problem...?
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Well, this is an antique store. We only sell old weapons.
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You're sure? I mean, I can make you a...great offer for these!
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(Well... maybe this is an opportunity...)
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(I need a gun for my disguise anyway.)
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Alright, I'll buy a gun. But only one.
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I'm ready to buy it for... Err...
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Finally! What took you so long?
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I thought you forgot about me!
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Who, me?! I'd never forget a customer!
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You've been gone for {delay}!
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Please don't make me wait any longer.
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Wow! Amazing! You're here!
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I'm getting sick of waiting, you know!
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My watch says you've been gone for {delay}!
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Hey, where are you going?!
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I just remembered something important...
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And you're leaving me here alone in your store?
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Uh... yeah! I won't be long!
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Leaving again?! What kind of dealer are you?
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Err... Sorry! Please don't go!
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How about giving it to me for free?
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You're crazy! I'm not giving it away!
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Well you said you wanted to get rid of it?
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I've heard enough. Goodbye, Uncle Scrooge.
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I can give you exactly 25 cents.
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(That's all I have left in my pockets...)
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25...cents... for a GUN?!
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You think this is just some toy made in china?!
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But I can't give you more! I have no money left!
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OK, I get it. I'm outta here.
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I... have an idea. Would you trade it for something valuable?
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Upstairs, I have an amazing masterpiece.
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It has a 10,000 € price tag. It's my most valuable piece.
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Alright, I'll take it.
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Just a minute, I'll bring it down!
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How about 20 euros?
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This is an actual gun. I won't trade it for a measly 20 € bill.
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How about 10 000 euros?
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Let's call it a deal!
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Actually... I can't pay you right now.
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Here's the deal. I give you the money whenever someone buys this item from me.
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Unacceptable! I can't wait that long!
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Goodbye. I'll check your competitors.
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I... have an idea. Would you trade it for something valuable?
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Upstairs, I have an amazing masterpiece.
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It has a 10 000 € price tag. It's my most valuable piece.
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Alright, I'll take it.
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Just a minute, I'll bring it down!
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So, where's my statue?
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I might need a little help here...
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The statue is upstairs, but something is blocking the way!
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Can you help me move this elsewhere?
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How did you get that there?
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Now get that statue please. I don't have all day.
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Yes! Here. Take it.
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Is this really worth 10 000 €?
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That's what the price tag says.
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Considering all the trouble you seemed to have getting it... I'll take it.
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At worst, it'll look great in my bathroom.
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Well, that was hard, but I managed to get it!
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I had to part with my most valuable piece, but it was w...
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Err... What... the...
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It says "For children 8+" on the side... And there are a bunch of plastic parts.
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Great... I've been fooled...
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Let's just hope my burglar doesn't notice that.
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She's not under the piano, that's for sure.
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Nope. Caroline isn't behind the desk.
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No Caroline behind the vase...
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What? The perfect hiding spot, but Caroline isn't here?
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It's cute and I can see the similarity... But Caroline isn't there.
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I heard a noise... But I don't see anything.
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Great, I found you. Come with me!
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Hey, stop! Don't go!
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Dammit... She left the store.
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As if I have time to play hide & seek! Where am I going to find her now?!
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I hate little girls...
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She's not hiding there anymore...
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Where is she?! That girl is driving me crazy!
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No way! Maybe I figured out what this box contains!
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Shame I still can't open it. I could stop looking for cookies everywhere.
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Oh, I remember now! A kid put a cookie here last month.
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Amazing! One of these has a cookie stuck on it!
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Maybe they prayed to the god of cookies?
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