What the heck?! What's going on?
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He's... dead! Who did this?!
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(Oops... Forgot about him! Let's hope he doesn't...)
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You did this? Who are you?!
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You got three seconds. Or should I put a bullet in that idiot head of yours?
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Erm... My name is Bjorn, and I'm an antiques dealer. Not an idiot. Well, not exactly.
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Bjorn?! You bastard! Come here, right now!
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So you can shoot me? No way!
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Believe me you little piece of shit. If I wanted to kill you, you'd already be dead!
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Unfortunately, I got orders not to harm you.
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So get down here, and we'll talk!
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Whoah! That was close!
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The next one will go directly between your two ugly eyes.
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OK, OK! Pfft! I'll climb down this ladder...
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But, I have to warn you, that will take a while...
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I'm kinda afraid of heights, you know, so...
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Alright, so... I'm climbing down the ladder... Oh my, it's high...
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Seriously... Why does the boss want anything to do with a loser like that?
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Oh gosh! The ladder... It's...
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I'M FAAAAALLLLIIIIING!!!!
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As of this day, only one excavation has been performed in Nogo.
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It was conducted by the famous archaeologist "Whats Hisname", between 1948 and 1948 (the precise dates are still unknown).
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The excavation was suddenly stopped when a terrible curse affected all the team members.
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Each of them lost money as the digging progressed, and they became subject to violence, crying and dizziness.
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This mystery was never explained.
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The museum was built in 1969, thanks to the financial support of a rich government who used the Nogo desert as the backdrop for filming a moon landing.
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Most of the museum items come from the excavation site. They were already unearthed by the excavation team, ready to be collected.
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Among the amazing discoveries found, there were also hundreds of empty bottles. Beer, wine and champaign, all buried next to the precious vases and artefacts.
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The origin of these incongruous items stays unknown.
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Hundreds of years ago, the last King of Nogo perished without an heir.
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The King's last wish was that the crown should only be given to someone able to wear it.
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Everyone tried. However, due to numerous kings having worn it over the ages, the crown had enlarged so much that it wouldn't fit anyone's head.
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One day, a young man named Demetrios tried his luck. And the crown was a perfect fit for his huge head!
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Demetrios became King! Long live the King!
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One day, King Demetrios was visited by a high lord from another country, who happened to be color-blind.
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It was a tradition to offer a gift at a guest's departure. The kingdom wasn't wealthy, but King Demetrios was cunning.
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As a game, he showed ten jewels to his guest, and suggested he take one. Nine were red, one was green : the only valuable one.
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He thought there was only a 1 in 10 chance he would take the priceless green jewel.
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King Demetrios was quite surprised when his guest took all ten jewels and ran away as fast as he could, never to be seen again.
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Two peasants were battling over a pig.
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"It's mine!" said the first one, "No, mine!" said the second.
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King Demetrios decided: he drew his sword, then announced he would cut the beast in half.
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"No!" screamed one of the two peasants, thus proving that the beast did belong to him.
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But the King was hungry for sausages and cut the beast anyway.
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They shared the meat, and they all feasted together.
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Once, King Demetrios grew bored in his kingdom and decided to go on an adventure.
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He left alone, without telling anyone. He travelled very far, to the edge of Nogo, where he had never been before.
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Suddenly, there was a strange scene in front of him. A big plate in the sky, from which green figures were being lowered up and down.
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They had very large heads (even bigger than his) and were skinny. The King couldn't believe it. Then, in the blink of an eye, they were all gone!
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Everything, except a strange machine in the grass. King Demetrios took it.
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King Demetrios had countless adventures (a total of two), but his last one became his greatest.
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As food grew scarce in his kingdom and his people began to starve, he went hunting with a group of friends.
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They spotted a group of deer, far away on an island. They were out of reach, as the sea prevented them from going to the island. As they moved to leave, they heard the King's wise words.
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"Do not worry, my friends!", he said. "I will walk across the sea, and return with arms full of meat!"
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He was never seen again.
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The crown was forever lost, and thus, Demetrios became the last King of Nogo.
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